Why am I feeling this way?
Why me?
Why now?
I have a confession to make. I’ve been a self-absorbed baby this week.
(cue sappy violin music)…
As I write this, I should be in Salt Lake City, visiting with hundreds of my blog-sisters, hanging with my girlfriends I haven’t seen in for-ev-vah,
meeting with PR reps from DIY/Home brands,
listening to amazing women speakers that I admire, and just having a wonderful time of bonding and relaxation.
I’m supposed to be at the SNAP conference, but instead I’m home, sick with a stupid virus.
Yesterday morning my flight was to depart and I just couldn’t get out of bed.
So what did I do all morning until noon? …
had a total emotional meltdown….
you know the ones…
the ugly cry, snot pouring out of your nose, sobbing so hard you sound like an incoherent toddler.
It wasn’t pretty.
Poor me! I have a fever, I’m hormonal,
this freakin’ sucks!
My plans didn’t play out the way I envisioned. Heck, I lost out on quite a bit of money even.
Whine-whine, whine-whine, whine- whine…
I seriously could use some wine right now…
oh that’s right, I can’t, I’m sick….
Whahahahahaaaaaaaaaa-
just another reason to whine some more.
(Are you getting the total non-pleasant picture here?)
So I pull up the laptop and try to console myself by reading a few blog posts from friends.
I read Jessica’s post….
She lives in Boston.
Her sister-in-law works at the bank, right where the bombing took place. Her family was desperately trying to find her and get her home after the bombings.
People were maimed….. People lost legs….
A daddy won’t be able to kiss his child tonight…
People died.
Lives will forever be changed and the struggle to stay alive has begun for so many affected.
BAM!
It was like a 2 x4 hitting me in the chest.
STOP ASKING “WHY ME?”, Kim!
Stop WHY-ning!
I am blessed, my family is safe and unharmed,
and missing a conference is a trivial disappointment in the larger scheme of life.
Time to change my perspective and
adjust my attitude.
People are important,
souls are important,
lives are important,
not missing conferences,
not having the cutest outfit ,
not having the picture perfect home.
So today
I WILL BE CONTENT.
I will not ask why, whine or cry,
(and I’ll blow my nose with as much joy as I can muster,)
and think and pray for all those today who are hurting more than I.
It’s all about PERSPECTIVE.
(thanks for letting me show my weakness friends)
KIM
thanks girl…I kinda needed it too. I have never been to a conference and always so its O.K. till everyone starts putting up pictures and you feel like the unpopular girl in school again…LOL…So instead I just did what I normally do and was thankful that my house isn’t flooded…we have groceries to eat and a great family and lots of laughs. Its hard to do sometimes but its worth it when we muster up the strength to change our attitudes.
I hope you feel better! I am really sorry you got sick!
Hugs
Karin
Thanks for your transparency and perspective turn-around. We all need moments when we need to reevaluate what’s truly important. This helped kick me out of my own “poor me” funk today…thank you 🙂 Hope you feel better soon! Miki
Did you say wine? I’m on it 🙂 Feel better my friend. I am not there either…and was feeling rather loser-ish myself this morning for not making the trip. But I snapped out of it (sorry, pun not intended..) and went to breakfast with my friends…who have no clue what the heck Snap is…and it puts it all back in perspective for me. Sometimes I think that everyone reads blogs…and lives a blog-life…when in reality—98% of my friends have no clue what a linky party is or what it means to be featured on Apartment Therapy. It makes me feel better when I look at that bigger picture 😉 I hope you are feeling yourself again soon. xoxo
Hope you feel better soon! Being sick is no fun especially when it ruined plans you had 🙁 . Hang in there. Thanks for the mention 😉
I love a lot of the quotes you have in this post. It’s so interesting how we react to things that seems so huge to us but can be small when looking at another’s perspective. I hope you feel better soon!
((HUGS)) So sorry you are sick, and that your plans got ruined. That’s bad enough, but then you toss in monies lost 🙁 … But yes, putting it all into perspective we are blessed aren’t we? We have life, luv and happiness… we have a lot.
Do fell better Kim.
Hugs, Gee
I know so many senseless things are happening right now but it is ok to whine every once in awhile 🙂 I woke up at 4 unable to go back to sleep thinking about Boston, my heart aches for them. I hope you Feel better soon.
Hugs
Kristin
Amen sister! I’ve been in the position where I lost everything I owned to an apartment fire (including my 2 dogs), was homeless and lived in my car in the dead of winter and lost my job a month later. I thought my world would never be okay again. Fast forward 10 years and I wonder why I ever fretted so much. Doesn’t mean we don’t feel sadness but there are always bigger worries in the house next door. Perspective makes all the difference.
Oh man! I so relate to this Kim! I once told my husband that I think I’m teaching our kids how to “sigh” over the most ridiculous things because I myself do that all the time. And, honestly, it’s ok to feel how you’re feeling and be disappointed over something like missing the conference! But, you took those feelings and added a does of perspective to it and that’s what really matters in the end. I LOVE that you were open and honest with all of us and just know that you aren’t alone in the “whine” or the “wine” department! LOL!
Vanessa
SO sorry you are sick! Sounds like bloggers are having a hard time getting there due to weather anyway…it still stinks though. Sigh. I signed up for my first blogger conference in October…keep wondering if anything will end up getting in the way; it’s hard to plan in advance for anything!
Feel better SOON; and thanks for those reminders!!
Oh Kim, so sorry to hear that you are so sick and couldn’t go to the conference!!! I totally feel your pain – I had a ticket to the Haven conference last year, my husband had a meeting in Atlanta the same week, and we were going to make a little anniversary trip out of it – but then he lost his job and we decided it wasn’t a good time for me to go. I was so sad but life goes on and you’re right, the marathon bombings and other goings-on in the world put these things into perspective. I live in the Boston area too and have had quite the attitude adjustment in my heart this week. Hope you feel better soon and get to go to another fun conference soon!
Kim I’m in your boat – no SNAP for me either. And although I’m not sick 2 of my 3 kids are and have been home from school ALL WEEK = mommy going insane until I read your post of course. It’s been hard to really take in all the details with kids constantly around but I do know we are thankful and content too. There will always be another conference.
You totally have the right to feel sad and disappointed. If someone suffers more than you that is sad and hard but it doesn’t mean you need to feel badly about your own feelings.
Aww Kim this is amazing. Such a good point that I needed to hear right now (and as you know I am at the conference!). I missed meeting you so much, but there will be other conferences. Xoxoxoxo
t’s okay to be disappointed, but you’re right about the “keeping it in perspective” part. I SO needed to read this today! Thanks. Feel better!
Kim, so sorry you had to miss the conference…but as you and others have realized and said before…we all need to be thankful for what we have. So much has happened this week that just boggles the mind. It’s a shame that it takes something like that to make us all realize just how lucky we are. Hope you feel better soon…take care.
Well said! Thanks for sharing and being transparent. Hope you feel better soon!
hope you feel better, we are all entitled to feel sucky for a little while, then its time to get back up again!
What a wonderful reminder that every day (even the snot-filled, fever-raging, conference-missing ones) is a gift. Hope you feel better soon… Haven will be here before you know it. 🙂
Hugs!
xo Heidi
Thanks for this post Kim. While I didn’t buy a ticket OR get a virus I have been bummed out about not being at SNAP when it feels like every other blogger I know and like is there. I have been feeling left out and sorry for myself but with everything that has happened that is a super silly self-indulgent way to feel. I appreciate the reminder! xo
Great post Kim. Occasionally, we all need to be reminded to look the “big picture” and you did……love your blog!
xoxo
Awe Kim… I’m sad you weren’t be able to make it to SNAP! But I’m glad you were real and realized that it isn’t the end of the world. Hope your feeling better. See you in August! 🙂