One Less at the Table

One Less at the Table

I’ve made it one-whole-week. This is quite an achievement for me.

Early Fall Tablescape - zinnias

Those misty tears that unseemingly sneak there way into the outer edges of my eyes have stayed at bay for 48 hours…

that is, until today.

We’re having country bbq ribs tonight, a family favorite. The kitchen smells divine. The dishes are placed carefully on the table… one, two, three, four, five, six. Uhg!

Nope. Remove six silly girl. Old habits die hard I guess….

hard to adjust to one less at the table each night.

One Less at the Table

Our oldest, Morgan left for college last week. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled for the new chapter and adventure she is embarking upon,but WOW! Talk about a brick slamming me on the side of the head! I was not prepared for this, for her absence, for the sudden and empty hole in our family. She is so unlike me (thank God) I took off running 3000 miles away from home in NC to go to college in CA. I needed to go, explore, break the ties that bind. I needed to be me. But now that I’m a mom…. Oh Lord help me… gulp…

Morgan and I are polar opposites:

She is an idealist, I’m a realist.

She is giving, I am selfish.

She is trusting, I question everything.

She automatically sees the best in everyone, I choose to overlook their faults,

She is guarded and reserved, I throw caution to the wind and risk it all.

Thank you Lord for HER!

She is unique and Your precious creation, a single beautiful bloom standing out in a garden of beauty. 

Zinnia - single flower

Morgan is dyslexic, and reading was the hardest struggle of her life. But guess what? She never gave up. She persevered, overcame her learning disability and graduated with honors, a 3.96 GPA! She is now majoring in Pre-Med.  She didn’t hang in the popular crowd, but she was loved by her classmates, known for her gentle heart and kindness to all and was this year’s prom queen!

Ok, she is a bit like me. She is artistic. You can find her doodling, painting, or drawing any free moment… ( ahhhh… proud mama!). She designed her official senior tee-shirt… It rocks. Oh,  did I mention her class is over 400+?

Oh sure, she has faults…. (she’s messy… ha! Her poor roommate)

I walk past her room and try not to glance in at the total mess on the floor. Ha! I will clean it up…eventually. But that was her mess. My sweet, messy, beautiful Morgan.

…here it comes…

the flutter of the eyelashes, the quick reassuring smile,  and the gentle stroking away of that salty sting.

Early Fall Tablescape - zinnias

I needed a pick me up this week and I knew gorgeous zinnias would make my heart sing! My wonderful friend Linda (whose son is also at the same university as my daughter) picked these gorgeous zinnias from her farm and left them on my porch for me. If you follow me on Instagram, then you saw them!

I am so blessed! Thank you Linda…. you have no idea how much these meant!

Zinnias

Zinnias in Galvanized Pails

So what’s a mom to do? Pray a lot, hug her other 3 kiddos tight, eat her bbq country ribs, her mashed red potatoes and top off the evening with the family with a slice of Key Lime Pie!

Key Lime Pie

Tart and yet sweet… just like my one less at the table…

Zinnia Flower Arrangement

This is her time and I know she will flourish, grow, and bloom!

Bloom girlfriend! We have a spot waiting for you at the table whenever you want. ;)

Love mom,

Kim

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Comments

  1. Morgan is my kinda girl, plus, I am dyslexic, too. Of course, she leaves a gaping space. Bravo to you for being such a good mama.

  2. You have done such a great job raising her. She will do great. Such a nicely written post! And the flowers are beautiful!!

  3. Susan Martin says:

    God Bless! I know how you feel.
    It will get easier.

  4. I have so many friends going through the same thing this year. It sounds like you have done a wonderful job raising her and I am sure she knows you and her home are always there waiting for her. My boys are 8 and 10 and I am already learning to let go in little ways. I am beginning to think that there is no “easy” age. Hang in there.. I am sure it will get easier!
    -Shelley

  5. Aww… now I’m tearing up. What a sweet post about your brave girl!
    ~ Ashley

  6. Barb Jarrell says:

    Kim,

    I understand every emotion you are feeling. You are not the only mama with an emotional heart this Sunday. I walked in church this morning and there was my friend Amy with a pasted smile on her face and tears escaping from her eyes. The good mothers care and it shows. God bless you and Amy!

  7. I am right behind you.
    Our eldest is a Senior this year…a year of lasts. You are in a year of firsts. All so bitter sweet. And exciting!

  8. Kim, my dear Mother used to have this old saying and how true it is. “You worry about your kids till you’re 6 ft. under, or I worried about you when you were out until you walked into the house.” Oh what I wouldn’t give to have my dear Mother alive again and worry about me, even though I’m 72..

    She will be back for a visit at Thanksgiving and Christmas..so you will have something to look forward to and Christmas break is a long one usually..you’ll be able to catch up on “bonding again” I’ve heard other Mother’s say that when their college kids go back after Christmas break is over, that’s when their kids really settled down into college life. They look forward to seeing their newly made friends again and catching up with them..You’ll be surprized at how much she has grown up come May when she comes bome for the summer. You’ll change too over this year..You may not think it now but you will. Your wonderful blog will keep you occupied; winter is coming but for where you live, you won’t have to worry about bad winter weather, like people up North or in the mid west..Connect with your friends; you’ll find that some of those might be facing the same worries with their college bound kid..You’ll support each other.

    Now wipe those tears, put on your big girl panties and move forward is what my dear neighbor always says! She had two sons and they went to the local university and were able to come home in less than an hour..but now one is married, the other living away from home, and she and hubby are busy taking care of aging parents..I’m sure they wonder when they will ever get to live out their dreams.

    What you are feeling is normal, and will pass with time.

  9. I sent my last two, twin boys, off to college this year. I know what you are going through and yours words touched my heart! Thank you!

  10. What a lovely tribute to your daughter! Tears are okay, I know they are both for some sadness and happiness at the same time. Beginnings and endings, all a part of life.

  11. Oh, Kim, it DOES get easier, I promise… but i remember that feeling so well, when my girl left for college three years ago. The joys that are ahead as you watch her bloom and grow are wonderful… much to look forward to! Hugs!
    xo Heidi

  12. What beautiful Zinnas those are and I loved the story about your daughter. I bet she could excell in graphic arts with her creative talent. I wish her well in all her endeavors.

  13. What a beautiful post Kim! It’s so hard when our little birds venture out on their own! One day at a time, it will get easier and you will have the joy of seeing her become a successful adult that became that way because of her foundation: your parenting, your support and your strength of character! xo Heather

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